Ok DJ Kirkby you asked for them!!! This is how the garden looked last week. As you can see there is a LOT of crap and weeds. It has been some what neglected for months now. Last year we weren't even living here because of the roof, and then Richards heart attack and so on and so on. Anyway the sun came out, briefly, so I went out for a recky. I started by clearing the rubbish and tidying the bit you can see in front of the greenhouse. That looks better now. And yesterday I started weeding the beds. There are now lots of little red tulips everywhere. I was doing so well, but guess what? Yup, raining!!! So no gardening today. And DJ, yes porridge oats do work. The slugs don't like the dryness. The only problem is that the birds also like the oats so you have to be careful they don't pull up seedlings. Mind you while they're eating the oats they also eat the slugs.

If I had written this post an hour ago it would have been very depressing. Last week was the week from hell. Dad was rushed into hospital on Monday because he went to the docs and had lost so much weight (3 stone) and wasn't keeping anything down. The doc went mad that the consultant wasn't doing anything and sent him off to hospital. There they put him on a drip etc and he picked up. He had lots more scans and tests and they sent him home on Friday. Today he is starting 9 weeks of Chemotherapy. If that shrinks the tumor enough then they will do keyhole surgery to remove it. So we've been back and forward to Barnstaple all week (25 miles). But I was coping, ish.

Then last night there was the sound of a distressed cat coming from upstairs. I thought I'd shut one of them in somewhere. But no. It was my Twinkle, my baby girl. He back end had collapsed and she was dragging herself along by her front paws. A phone call and then a trip to the emergency vets followed. She had suffered a blood clot that had cut off all the blood supply and circulation to her back end, she was dead from the middle down. There was only one outcome, so I held her while the vet did what he had to do. When we got home I decided I didn't like this game anymore, and I didn't want to play. I wanted to shut myself in the bedroom and stay there. I mean what's the point? If every time you think you've got the hang of it the rules changes and the rug gets pulled out from under you again? Happiness is dangerous, there's only one way it can go.

And then I got a phone call this morning from one of my best friends. She had her fourth baby on Thursday. A little boy called Harry. So life isn't all crap then, not really.

Snow Cake and lost cats.

A few weeks ago rainbowmummy told of the film Snow Cake and how good it was. I have just opened the Radio Times to see that it is on tonight at 11.10pm on BBC Two. I have the machine set up to record it.

Some very sad news. One of our oldest cats, Poppy, has left us. Thursday night she suddenly became quite unwell, struggling to breath and rather unhappy looking. It was late so we decided to keep an eye on her. By bedtime she seemed a little better so it was decided to take her to the vets first thing in the morning. Richard was the last to bed and said that she had asked to go out about 1am. He let her go, followed her a little way down the garden with a torch and was happy that she seemed ok.

I was the first up yesterday morning and was instantly aware that something was not right because she was not miaowing for her breakfast. She was always a very vocal little cat. I had a horrid feeling and went in search. She was no where downstairs so I had a look out of the back door. And there she was. She was half curled up on the grass by the door, covered in frost. She had obviously taken herself out to die. It upset me so much that she had to die outside in the bitter cold like that. I know cats will do this sort of thing, but even so. I gathered her stiff little body up and brought her in to the warm. We buried her in a nice spot in the garden.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive about my story in the last post. It makes me think that I may not be waisting my time!